Keep in mind that it isn’t the one who has it in for you and takes a swipe that harms you, but rather the harm comes from your own belief about the abuse. So when someone arouses your anger, know that it’s really your own opinion fueling it. Instead, make it your first response not to be carried away by such impressions, for with time and distance self-mastery is more easily achieved. —Epictetus, ENCHIRIDION, 20
- No word is offensive in and of itself. Words don't offend us, we get offended by them. We are offended because we attach judgement value to them, and because we associate them to aggressive or evil intentions from their originators. We believe that we are being abused, diminished, rejected, etc.
- While it may not be consciously, we are choosing to feel that way. We are choosing to add oil to the fire of our indignation. Now, feeling oppressed, aggressed, rejected, etc. triggers a powerful emotional response, giving way to anger, anxiety, or sadness. The emotional response is natural (thank you Limbic System), and acts as a defensive mechanism that has kept us alive for thousands of years. A signal of sorts.
- But how we chose to interpret that signal is up to us, and anger should be at the bottom of the list of emotions we should give way to.