Listen to coach Marcus

• blog public
  • Title:: Listen to Coach Marcus
  • Deadline:: February 28th, 2021
  • Completion:: 100%
  • URL:: https://guillaumehansali.medium.com/listen-to-coach-marcus-239dad960fd9
  • Follows:: Blog personal principle

• Tasks

  • {{DONE}} Gather ideas and references
  • {{DONE}} Write the structure
  • {{DONE}} Write a first draft
  • {{DONE}} Review and second pass
  • {{DONE}} Add photos
  • {{TODO}} Translate in Japanese
  • {{DONE}} Publish on Medium
  • {{TODO}} Publish on note

• Ideas

  • How to think like a roman emperor, Donald Robertson
  • Pretend to be Marcus Aurelius at work
    • Imagine Marcus Aurelius starting a job as an associate executive
  • Objective Representation

    • This is the ability to describe events or situations in a factual fashion, without any value judgement

      • the matter-of-fact way, “having a firm grip of reality” is an allusion to Zeno’s symbolization of this concept by a clinching fist
      • events are not good or bad, just or unjust, they just are
      • an objective representation must not be tainted by our emotions, or judgement
      • jnbpC45Qd
      • events are not good or bad, just or unjust, they just are
      • Tpj2xen17
    • A good practice is what is called Decatastrophizing a situation
      • When negative events occur in our lives, we have a tendency to imagine the worth, and to let our mind fall into a spiral of negativity.
      • “Decatastrophizing” a situation is simply putting into words, detached from any emotion or judgement, what would be the worth thing that can happen to us. By describing it in great details, it focuses our thoughts on an actual task, instead of letting wander all over the place in panick-mode.
    • Training technique
      • Chose a difficult situation or event in your life, and try to write about it in the most factual, emotionally detached way possible, focusing on “and this happened ... and that happened ...”
    • This is the ability to describe events or situations in a factual fashion, without any value judgement

      • the matter-of-fact way, “having a firm grip of reality” is an allusion to Zeno’s symbolization of this concept by a clinching fist
      • events are not good or bad, just or unjust, they just are
      • an objective representation must not be tainted by our emotions, or judgement
    • Very useful to apply to critical-thinking
    • events are not good or bad, just or unjust, they just are
      • Describe a problem or a situation without any judgement of value or emotions
        • It is very challenging (connect to Born irrational)
    • During a crisis on a project
      • “Decatastrophizing” a situation is simply putting into words, detached from any emotion or judgement, what would be the worth thing that can happen to us. By describing it in great details, it focuses our thoughts on an actual task, instead of letting wander all over the place in panick-mode.
      • => Practicing decatastrophizing as part of leadership training
  • Cognitive Distancing
    • https://donaldrobertson.name/2013/01/18/cognitive-distancing-in-stoicism/
  • Dichotomy of Control, or “Stoic Fork”
    • There are things that are under our control, and things that aren’t. It is meaningless to feel strongly about things over which we have no control. That includes:

      • how people think and feel about us
      • the actual outcomes of our actions.
      • our own health and wealth.
      • how people think and feel about us
      • the actual outcomes of our actions.
      • our own health and wealth.
  • The 4 Cardinal Virtues of Stoicism

    • Wisdom
    • Justice
    • Courage
    • Moderation
    • Wisdom
    • Justice
    • Courage
    • Moderation
  • The Herculean Choice

    • This is based on Hercules’ fable, and the choice he had to make between an easy but empty life, and a hard but meaningful one
      • For Stoics, this symbolize the choice we have to make every day between what we believe will help us living a more virtuous life, and what will procure us pleasure
        • Stoics are opposed to living a hedonic life

        • The Stoics tended to view joy not as the goal of life, which is wisdom, but as a by-product of it

    • Managing habits
      • Stoics focus on the objective representation of things, so on and in itself, a habit is neither good or bad. But certain habits will bring us closer to a virtuous life, and others are just indulgences that bring us short-term pleasure
        • 4 steps approach to deal with bad habits
          • 1. Evaluate the consequences of your habits or desires in order to select which ones to change.
          • 2. Spot early warning signs so that you can nip problematic desires in the bud.
          • 3. Gain cognitive distance by separating your impressions from external reality.
          • 4. Do something else instead of engaging in the habit.
        • The method proposed to manage the habits we want to remove is very similar to the one discussed in Atomic Habits, James Clear
      • A good way to determine what is meaningful to us in terms of habits, is to picture our death, and try to imagine our biggest regrets

        • Nobody has ever had the words “I wish I’d watched more television” or “I wish I’d spent more time on Facebook” engraved on their tombstone.

      • If you were to die tomorrow, what would be the things you miss the most, the things you would feel the most terrible of losing?
        • For me
          • learning new things
          • conversations with people I love
          • being touched by the actions of extraordinary people
          • being amazed by creativity, music and other arts
    • About Joy

      • Joy in the Stoic sense is fundamentally active rather than passive; it comes from perceiving the virtuous quality of our own deeds, the things we do, whereas bodily pleasures arise from experiences that happen to us, even if they’re a consequence of actions like eating, drinking, or having sex.

    • Desire vs Gratitude
      • Desire is craving for something we don’t have
      • Gratitude comes from imagining the absence of things currently present
        • It is a good mental practice to imaging the loss of the things or people we deeply care about
          • I may want to use this perspective when I write the Grateful section in my journal. It shouldn’t be able the events that made me happy that day, but the things I practiced my loss simulation on
  • How to deal with anger
    • Stoics see anger as a temporary madness, as usually nothing good comes out of anger
  • We are allowed to pursue Joy too

    • Joy in the Stoic sense is fundamentally active rather than passive; it comes from perceiving the virtuous quality of our own deeds, the things we do, whereas bodily pleasures arise from experiences that happen to us, even if they’re a consequence of actions like eating, drinking, or having sex. (Location 132)

  • Common challenges in a workplace
    • Greed and self-interest
    • Confusing competition with aggression
    • Decisions driven by emotions, fear of the unknown, and risk aversion
    • Stress and anxiety
    • Crisis management
    • Anger management issues
    • Expectations and entitlement
  • Adding a few ridiculous anecdotes
    • Broken leg of Epictetus
  • Overall message
    • We are not affected by the reality itself but by our perception of reality, and ultimately our mindset will determine how we experience the workplace
    • Stoicism is all about the pursue of virtues while navigating the vicissitudes of life, and these principles can apply to work.
    • Objective Representation and Cognitive Distancing are two powerful mechanisms to help us thinking and acting more critically.
    • Dichotomy of Control can help us accept the outcome of our decisions or of others.
    • Meditations
  • Takeaways
    • Our human shortcomings haven’t changed much in the last 3000 years. Wisdom of the philosophers of that era seems as relevant today.

• Structure

  • Introduction
    • Stoicism has gained popularity in the last few years (https://link.medium.com/W1gAuauP2db)
    • We are witnessing a Renaissance of Greek philosophy.
    • Our lives have become so complicated that we are willing to search for words of wisdom that are thousands of years old.
    • I’m willing to risk voicing the following idea. Societies were less complex and information scarcer back then, so philosophers could dedicate more time and cognitive focus to meditate about life, meaning, and human’s tendencies to succumb to hedonic motivations and self-indulgence.
    • Recommended by a friend, I recently read How to think like a roman emperor, Donald Robertson, modern psychology
    • I thought it would be interesting to apply these ideas into the workplace
    • 2021, Marcus Aurelius a successful business executive, twice Time’s person of the year, and a regular columnist in Forbes magazine is hired by a struggling organization as a business coach. Long-time practitioner of Stoicism, Marcus is also the author of 2 best-selling books, [...]
  • Stoicism, the elevator pitch
    • Explain concepts in front of board of directors
      • What is the biggest enemy of any business? Bad decisions.
      • Where those bad decisions come from?
        • overconfidence
        • misguided (?) perception, intuition, bias
        • lack of emotional control (anger)
        • self-interest
        • fear
      • Our approach is to reduce the number of bad decisions by applying Stoicism teachings to develop self-control, selflessness, and a more acute sense of perception.

    • Stoicism teaches the development of self-control and fortitude as a means of overcoming destructive emotions; the philosophy holds that becoming a clear and unbiased thinker allows one to understand the universal reason (logos). Stoicism's primary aspect involves improving the individual's ethical and moral well-being: "Virtue consists in a will that is in agreement with Nature."[11] This principle also applies to the realm of interpersonal relationships; "to be free from anger, envy, and jealousy,"[12] and to accept even slaves as "equals of other men, because all men alike are products of nature".[13]

    • Symptoms of a struggling organization
      • High levels of stress and anxiety
      • No communication or collaboration between divisions
      • Leadership driven by greed and self-interest
      • Decisions driven by emotions, fear, and risk aversion
      • [...]
    • Plan to improve the situation
      • Create a high-performing culture based on The 4 Cardinal Virtues of Stoicism
      • 1on1 coaching with senior management on critical thinking
      • Masterclass on stress management for all the staff with guest speaker, Epictetus
      • Workshop on self-improvement and routine building
  • Virtue in the office
    • Highly performing organizations have one thing in common: a deeply ingrained culture that strive for excellence. Conversely, struggling organizations usually demonstrate weaker cultures, often as a result of a lack of higher purpose.
    • It didn't take too long for Marcus to determine that Acme Associates was no exception. After interviewing 2 executives and 1 senior manager, he had heard 3 different corporate missions, 12 different values, 5 of them contradictory, and nobody seemed to agree on which human qualities were the most important for the organization.
    • He organized a week-end retreat with all the executives and some of the most senior staff to [...]
    • As with all of his clients, he started by presenting [...]
    • In order to strive for excellence as an organization, it is vital to establish a culture driven by human qualities that we value. In our Stoic Approach to Management or SAM for short, we propose a framework of 4 values that we call The 4 Cardinal Virtues of Stoicism: Wisdom, Justice, Courage, and moderation.
    • Wisdom
      • Seeing long term
      • Learning from our mistakes
      • Sharing knowledge

      • The unexamined life is not worth living, Socrates

    • Justice
      • Building a fair business
        • Fair competition
        • Equal opportunities
    • Courage
      • Courage to speak up
      • Courage to do the right thing
      • Courage to try new ideas
      • Perseverance
      • Patience
    • Temperance (Moderation)
      • Profit keeps us alive, but that should be our main driver
      • We need to avoid growth at “all cost”
      • Restraint
        • from revenge
        • from arrogance
        • from excesses
        • from rage and cravings
  • Critical thinking
    • Having had the opportunity to discuss with many executives during the retreat, it came to Marcus's attention that a few costly mistakes had been made in the last quarter. They were the result of poor decision-making from a couple of senior managers trying to keep up with their personal objectives. That was a perfect segway to Marcus's next topic: Critical Thinking.
    • It’s all about perception
      • Plug to Born irrational
      • Cognitive Distancing and Objective Representation
      • Looking at the lenses, not through them
  • How to cope with stress and anxiety?
    • When it comes to stress management, no one has more experience than Epictetus. While Marcus has always had a more hands-on approach to Stoicism, he very often quotes Epictetus’s academic work, so who better than him for a guest speaker at his masterclass?

    • It’s not things that upset us but our judgements about things resonate, Epictetus

    • There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. –Epictetus, Discourses

    • No control? No problem
      • Dichotomy of Control, or “Stoic Fork”

        • Do what you must, let happen what may resonate — Pierre Hadot, The Inner Citadel: The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius

      • Expectations and entitlement
        • The wise man is grateful for the gifts life has given him, but he also reminds himself that they are merely on loan—everything changes and nothing lasts forever. (Location 152)
    • Worry Postponement
    • Hope for the best, Prepare for the worst
      • Practicing decatastropizing
  • Let’s put in practice
    • After having focused mostly on theory, it was time to put things into practice. Unlike hard skills of which progress can often be measured, the soft skills promoted by the SAM can be difficult to monitor. As it is usually the case for anything related to emotional intelligence, there are no feedback loop [...]
    • Marcus is a big believer in routines. They are the best way to consistently develop one's character (rephrase) by not leaving anything to chance. For him, the most important routines that he has been following religiously are his morning and evening meditations, or self-reflections (not to be confused with Buddhist meditations, although there might be similarities).
    • Morning and evening meditations

      • Begin the morning by saying to yourself, I shall meet with the busy-body, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial, Marcus Aurelius

      • 1. What would the consequences be if you acted as a slave to your passions? 2. How would your day differ if you acted more rationally, exhibiting wisdom and self-discipline? (Location 105)
      • Pre-mortem, post-mortem
      • Premeditation of Adversity
    • Feedback and mentorship

      • If we desire to learn wisdom, we must be ready to listen to anyone we encounter and show gratitude “not to those who flatter us but to those who rebuke us.

  • It was time for Marcus to congratulate all the staff for the progress they had made within just a few weeks. Now is not the time to [...] building culture doesn't happen overnight, and the pursue of virtues takes a lifetime.
  • In a warm closing speech, he reminded them that the most important thing is not to try to get it right every time but to do it consistently. Perfection is the enemy of good. Or as Marcus best puts it:

  • Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be; just be one - Mediations, 10.16

  • What I’ve learned
    • We are not affected by the reality itself but by our perception of reality, and ultimately our mindset will determine how we experience the workplace
    • Stoicism is all about the pursue of virtues while navigating the vicissitudes of life, and these principles can apply to work.
    • Objective Representation and Cognitive Distancing are two powerful mechanisms to help us thinking and acting more critically.
    • Dichotomy of Control can help us accept the outcome of our decisions or of others.
  • References
    • How to think like a roman emperor, Donald Robertson

• Content Check

  • {{DONE}} Has an intriguing title
  • {{DONE}} Is accessible to all public
  • {{DONE}} Includes personal stories and clear images
  • {{DONE}} Has clear takeaways
  • {{DONE}} Has no clumpy middle
  • {{DONE}} Has my personal words of wisdom
  • {{DONE}} Has at least one quote
  • {{DONE}} Has references (learn more)